Edited Episode: The Will
by mrs.morris
Summary: Season 5 immediately following "The Bayside Triangle." This is a rewrite of the Tori episode and includes Kelly and Jessie. (The plot line is not my original creation.) It is also an redo of the story I started "Why Can't We Be Friends". There were a lot of people reading that story that wanted Zack and Lisa to stay together, so I'll keep them around longer than two episodes.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: This is a rewrite of the alternate Tori universe episode called The Will (I did not come up with this on my own, most of the dialogue and scenes are transcripts of the original episode). It is rewritten to include Jessie and Kelly and Tori has been left out completely. (Sorry to all the Tori fans out there!) This story takes place in Season 4 (if you own the DVDs) or Season 5 (Netflix) immediately following The Bayside Triangle. Because of some reviews wanting Zack and Lisa to stay together, I am working on a story arc (this is the first story) that has them together for more than two episodes. So if you were reading "Why Can't We Be Friends?" I am scrapping it to expand it into more episodes that way Zack and Lisa can stay together a little longer. Just know that eventually they will have to break up (I'm apologizing in advance)... because I am trying to stay within the the continuity of the show. _

"Look what I've got!" Jessie sang as she jogged over to Kelly and Slater. She held out a stack of pictures as she approached, "I just got these pictures from Lisa's fashion show developed!" Kelly and Slater peered over her shoulders as she flipped through pictures of last week.

"Here we are setting up the fashion show!" she said excitedly. "Oh, and here's you Kelly in the dress I sewed!"

"Why's your hand coming up through the neck?" Slater asked tilting his head sideways and studying the picture.

"Let's just say sewing is the one area Jessie fails," Kelly kidded her. Jessie tried to give her a stern look, but couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Here you are, Slater," Jessie pointed.

"Aw," he amused.

"Oh, I saved the best for last!" Jessie told them with excitement as she flipped through to the end of the stack of pictures. "Here are Zack and Lisa behind the scenes—kissing!" Then, she flipped to the next picture, "Here they are after the show—still kissing!" She paused and looked up.

"And here they are now!" she sighed dreamily as she watched Zack and Lisa enter the hall. Slater and Kelly looked up and the three watched as the couple gazed into each other's eyes and walked hand in hand right past the staircase and face first into a set of lockers.

"Blinded by love," Slater joked. Kelly and Jessie giggled.

"Ouch," Zack laughed as he rubbed his head. Lisa rubbed her head too. "This relationship is starting to hurt!" he groaned. Then, he looked over at Lisa. "But hey, it's worth it!" he smiled as he wrapped an arm around her.

"Alright! Enough with the mush!" Jessie approached them. "I need the latest scoop on Bayside's brand new couple! So, what did you do for breakfast? Did Zack drive you to school, Lisa? Where did you go for your first date?"

"Down girl!" Lisa warned.

"Jessie, why are you being such a news hound?" Kelly asked shaking her head.

"Spano Speaks got its highest ratings when I did my report on the "Bayside Triangle". Now, I have no new news except for the Ovaltine Outbreak of '92."

"You did a report on us called the "Bayside Triangle"?!" Lisa's voice escalated as she clenched her fists.

"Excuse me mind if I play through?" Screech, oblivious to his friend's conversation, interrupted as he wheeled in a set of golf clubs.

"Screech, did you raid your grandfather's closet?" Zack laughed approaching his dorky best buddy. Screech's ridiculous apparel of a gray newsboy hat, brown bowtie, red plaid vest, and brown plaid pants broke all of the tension. "What are you doing?"

"Practicing! The miniature golf team has a major tournament today!" He informed Zack as he pulled out one of his clubs. Then, reached into his staff bag and pulled out an egg. He gazed at it in admiration.

"Is that a hard- boiled egg?" Lisa asked confused, but amused.

"Yeah, budget cuts are so bad we're using these instead of real golf balls!" Screech chirped with a lopsided face.

"Well, at least if you don't win you'll have a great snack for the back ninth!" Zack joked.

"Hey, the football team is starting to feel the budget crunch too!" Slater chimed in. "We have to use fat nerds as tackling dummies," he informed. The rest of the gang chuckled.

"At least you guys have uniforms!" Kelly complained. "We don't have anything to wear for volleyball!"

Zack's eyebrows went up, and he turned quickly toward her. "Really? I'll have to check out your next game!" he let out a low whistle.

Lisa crossed her arms not a bit amused. "Excuse me," she glared at him batting her eyes.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, "that was a reflex action," he smiled sheepishly.

"This talk about budget cuts would make a great new story! You're off the hook, Lisa," Jessie patted Lisa on the back. Lisa sighed and put her hands on her hip.

Meanwhile, Screech set the egg on the ground. "Four!" he yelled as he swung his golf club with full force at the egg. It splat right on Mr. Belding's door. Kelly, Lisa, Slater, and Zack all covered their eyes and groaned.

"Oops! I guess that was soft boiled ball!" He rested his club on the ground and whistled innocently.


	2. Scene 2

"Mr. Belding! I've been looking all over for you!" Jessie ran up to the principal who was bent over a groaning Big Pete. "I need to interview you for a statement on the school budget crisis."

"Not now, Jessie, I'm a little busy at the moment!" he told her gesturing to Big Pete who was holding his stomach and groaning in agony.

"Another victim of the Olvaltine Outbreak?" Jessie asked.

Mr. Belding nodded, "Afraid so!" Then, he directed his attention toward Pete, "Pete everything will be ok. The nurse is on her way!"

"This is Jessica Spano with a breaking news bulletin. The Ovaltine Outbreak has taken yet another victim. Another nerd—I mean, student—has been struck ill by the chocolate plague and is in deep distress. But have no fear for our heroic principal rushed to his side in a manner that would make Florence Nightingale proud!"

The last comment caught Belding's attention. He turned toward Jessie with a surprised, yet satisfied expression. "Perhaps, I could do that interview in ten minutes," he replied thoughtfully.

Jessie nodded with a proud smile, "Stay tuned for a special interview with the hero himself as he speaks about the school budget cuts."

Jessie waited in Mr. Belding's office, her trusted KKTY mike in hand. The door opened and she rushed forward with the mike ready to ask questions.

"Hey!" Zack whelped as he stepped back in surprise, pushing the microphone away from his face.

"Oh, I thought you were Belding," Jessie folded her arms in disappointment.

Zack felt around on his hairline.

"I was supposed to meet him here for a story on the budget cuts," Jessie explained. "He's late," she paused for a moment. "What are you doing here?"

Zack shrugged, "Well, I've gone a whole day without getting sent to the office, so I thought I'd stop in for a short visit," he smirked.

Jessie rolled her eyes. The door popped open again, causing Jessie to jump into her reporter stance.

"Well, I'm happy to see you, too, babe," Screech strutted toward her. "But I've got no time for fun, just business!"

"Business?" Jessie asked with one raised eyebrow.

"Yes, but it's top secret. You see, no one is supposed to know about the money—oops!" Screech slapped a hand over his face.

"So that's why you're here," Jessie pointed at Zack. "So spill it!" Jessie pointed her microphone at both Zack and

The door opened a third time, revealing Kelly, Slater, and Lisa.

"How does everyone know about the money except the dirt digging reporter?" Jessie threw her arms in the air in surrender.

"Well, Mr. Belding called us all here since all of us are involved in some sort of after school activity. He said it was about money that could help us," Kelly explained.

The door swung open again and Mr. Belding stepped in and made his way to his desk.

"Hey, Mr. B, so what gives?" Slater asked.

"That's my line," Jessie pushed through and Slater threw his hands up in a surrender motion. She reached Mr. Belding's desk and leaned over with her microphone.

"This is Jessie Spano with Spano Speaks. Today, I'm here with Mr. Belding to discuss the hard hits our budget has been taking recently. Funding for many of our after school activities have been cut. Mr. Belding, what is your say on the matter at hand?"

"Well, I'm sad to say that our budget cuts are not getting any better. And unless someone out there listening decides to donate us some money or writes us into their will, well, Bayside might have to say goodbye to some of their extra-curricular and clubs!"

"What?!" the gang reacted in shock.

"There you have it. So if anyone out there has a heart or just a lot of extra cash lying around, Bayside would be forever grateful! This has been a special edition of Spano Speaks."


	3. Scene 3

"This is your principal Mr. Belding with a very important announcement!" the voice beamed through the speaker causing the whole class to take notice. Mr. McGee froze. Jessie, Kelly, and Lisa sat up straight. Slater stopped goofing off with Ox.

Zack lifted his head up from his desk, "Hey, maybe he's retiring early!"

Mr. Belding's voice continued through the speaker, "I am sorry to say that one of Bayside's favorite graduates, Frederick Field passed away yesterday."

Everyone in the class awed.

"Hey, did he invent the football field?" Ox asked excitedly palming a football he had brought to class.

"Contrary to popular belief, he was not the inventor of the football field," Belding blared. "He was the inventor of waistbands for underwear."

"Aw, gee! What a great man!" The hefty Ox admired as he tugged the waist of his pants.

"Thanks to the power of the airwaves, he heard about the Bayside budget crisis, and he left the students $10,000 in his will!"

"Wow!" Kelly exclaimed.

"$10,000!" Jessie cooed.

"I knew he was my favorite alumni for a reason!" Zack cheered.

Mr. Belding continued through the speaker, "In honor of his passing and his great service to the school, we will have a dance this Friday. We will also be holding a school council meeting in the gym tomorrow where students can vote on suggestions of what to do with the generous donation."

"I've got a suggestion. Let's give it all to me!" Zack joked. Everyone turned around and grimaced at him. "That's a reflex, too," he shrugged and sat back down in his chair.

"The will states that the money must be used to benefit the school, so don't get any funny ideas," Mr. Belding informed as if he heard Zack's comment. "Be prepared to present your ideas to the school in the gym tomorrow!"

Mr. Belding stood on the stage as the Bayside student body settled into their seats. Slater, Kelly, Jessie, Zack, and Lisa took their seats in the front side row. "Where's Screech?" Jessie asked as she looked at the empty chair beside Lisa.

Mr. Belding stepped up to the microphone, "Welcome to a very special council meeting. Thanks' to Mr. Frederick Field's generous funds, we are going to open the floor to anyone who would like to give their suggestions. Alright, first up, we have Screech Powers representing the Bayside Bug Club!" he held up a hand pointing in Screech's direction.

"There he is!" Slater motioned with a grin. The students applauded as Screech made his way to the stage carrying a big container covered up in a sheet.

"I knew he was going to do something about bugs! I just knew it!" Lisa shook her head as she whispered to Zack.

Screech still holding the surprise under a sheet, stepped up to the microphone confidently, "As Bayside's big bug man," he introduced waving a finger, " I suggest we build the nation's first high school insect museum! Take a look at our friendly creepy crawlers!" he began to unveil a glass aquarium, when it slipped out of his hands and crashed on the floor right in front of the first row of students. All of the students jumped up screaming and fled the gymnasium.

Screech stared at the mess beside of Mr. Belding, "Oops!" he told Mr. Belding as he held the sheet that once covered all the insects that were now crawling around the gym. Then, he handed the sheet to a shocked Mr. Belding and walked out.

Mr. Belding started to call after him, but was in too much surprise and at a loss for what to do.

After the insects were accounted for, the students returned to the gym. This time, Zack and Slater stepped up to the microphone both looking smug and confident in their suggestion.

"The sports program is a big money-maker for the school!" Slater began.

"That's right! But to keep it that way we need state of the art equipment! Like AstroTurf on the football field," Zack added waving his arms in the air.

"Yeah," Slater agreed and clapped.

"And a dome over the baseball field!" Zack announced confidently. Slater continued to clap and agree.

"Hey, let me tell ya, we drop a lot of fly balls in the sun!" he informed the students as he pointed a finger at them.

"A lot fly balls!" Slater chimed and clapped. Mr. Belding made his way up to the stage as Zack and Slater continued to make the crowd clap and cheer.

"Zack," Mr. Belding interrupted sticking his head between Zack and Slater to reach the microphone. "A dome would cost over a million dollars!"

Zack and Slater stepped back a little disappointed, but still thinking.

"Alright then," Zack agreed unwillingly. Mr. Belding began to walk off stage.

"Ray bans for the outfielders!" Zack flung his arms open wide and yelled. Again this sent the students and Slater cheering.

Just then, Jessie jumped up out of her seat. "Hey, the guys are right! The money should go for the sports programs! I mean, all of our teams are in financial need!"

Zack and Slater looked half shocked that she agreed with anything they had said.

"Money for sports!" Lisa cheered.

"Money for sports!" Kelly continued.

Soon the whole crowd was clapping along as the girls chanted again and again trying to persuade the crowd. Even Mr. Belding was clapping along.

"Alright, maybe we should tell them," Slater said softly to Zack.

"Girls! Girls!" Zack yelled to get their attention.

"Girls! Thanks for your support, but, uh, I don't think we're talking about the same thing here," he told them slightly amused.

"Uh, yeah," Slater continued rubbing his hands together. "Um, we're talking about guys teams! You know, the real sports of the school!" he smiled at them trying to make them understand.

"You pig!" Jessie said in disgust.

"Wait a minute, are you saying that girl sports don't count?" Lisa asked incredulously. Kelly and Jessie folded their arms and glared at Zack and Slater.

"No, no, no, no! Of course not!" Zack assured them. "Girls sports count, just not enough to get money!" he told them shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Right!" Slater backed him up.

"Wait a minute, that's not fair," Kelly countered, "Boys sports get everything already!"

"Well, that's because we bring in all the money that pays for your dumb sports, like softball," Slater made sure to say softball in a mocking voice.

"That's right!" Zack backed him up.

"Our sports are not dumb - you –- you-!" Kelly yelled infuriated, but couldn't think of a word to fight back.

"Muscle bound monkey!" Jessie finished for her. Suddenly, the students were arguing and boys were fighting against girls raising arms and voices. Mr. Belding jumped off the stage in attempting to prevent a war from taking place.

"Hey, hey, hey!" he yelled. "Everybody settle down! We will settle this the only way I can see how-in a contest tomorrow! Girls versus boys to see which sports teams will get the money. Now, you each need to pick four members that will represent your side. Now everyone get back to class!"

Jessie, Lisa, and Kelly walked up to Zack and Slater. "May the best team win."

"And I guess we all know who that team is," Zack countered giving Slater five. "Oh, Lisa, are we still going to the Max tonight?" he asked.

"Ha! Ha ha!" she laughed and walked off with Jessie and Kelly.

"Was it something I said?" Zack cracked a small smile.


	4. Scene 4

The students gathered in the hallway the next day. Jessie, Lisa, Kelly, and Louise represented the girl's team in red while Zack, Slater, Screech, and Ox represented the boy's team in blue. Each team stood on opposite sides of Mr. Belding giving each other intimidating stares.

"Alright everybody!" Mr. Belding called for their attention. "This seems to be the only way to decide who gets the money. The Battle of the Sexes is about to begin!" he announced excitedly.

Both sides cheered with anticipation.

"The team winning two out of three events receives $10,000," he paused to let the students cheer, "which will be rewarded at Friday's dance! Is everyone ready?" he asked excitedly.

Kelly and Slater walked up to Mr. Belding confidently. "The boys team is ready, sir!" Slater informed him. "So, is the girl's team, sir!" Kelly announced.

Mr. Belding stood between the two holding a red and blue card, "These are clues to your first puzzle pieces," he explained carefully. "The team that collects all puzzle pieces, places them on these boards," he pointed at two boards, one labeled "Girls" and one labeled "Boys". Then, he continued, "And solves the puzzle correctly wins." He held the red card in front of Kelly and the blue card in front of Slater, "Captains!" Kelly and Slater shook hands. "Ready your teams!"

Kelly and Slater ran back to their teams and Mr. Belding blew the whistle to announce the contest began.

Slater tore into the envelope as quickly as he could and began reading the card aloud to his teammates, "To reveal the location of your puzzle pieces, ask someone named Sam for the correct combination!"

"Wait a minute! My uncle's name is Sam! He'll help us!" Screech pointed at Slater enthusiastically. Slater rolled his eyes. As Screech started to run off to get his Uncle Sam, Zack grabbed him.

"Screech!" he called out pulling him back by the shirt collar. "Your name is Sam," Zack reminded him.

Screech stood up straight having a eureka moment. "My gosh! You're right!"

"Combination," Zack thought for a moment. Then, he and Slater realized at the same time what it meant.

"Locker, locker!" they yelled at the same time. All four boys ran to Screech's locker almost tripping over each other.

Jessie, Lisa, and Louise huddled around Kelly as she opened their card and read it aloud, "Here's where you might go first if your puzzle had a thirst."

They all thought for a moment. Then, Lisa called out, "Hey, quick, the water fountain!" All the girls ran after her. She reached behind the fountain and pulled out a big puzzle piece which contained the next clue.

Zack looked over at the girls who had already found their puzzle piece and next clue. "Come on! We're losing ground!" he hurried Screech who had his ear pressed up against his locker turning the combination lock. "What is the combination?"

Screech stood up frustrated. "It's so hard to think under all this pressure!" He scratched his head. "Wait a minute! I've got it!" he excitedly began to turn the dial. "Ten, twenty-two, forty-two," he muttered as he turned the lock. "Hey! That's Gilligan's birthday!" he announced proudly.

"Aw!" Zack beat his head against the locker in frustration. Ox held his face in his hands, and Slater groaned.

Meanwhile, the girls read off their next clue, "Ummm… now that you found puzzle piece number one, you'll find the next puzzle piece in a room with flowers and fake sun…" Lisa trailed off thinking.

"Fake sun!" Louise thought. "Oh, I know! It's the tanning booth, right?"

"Louise," Jessie told her, "This is school. We don't have a tanning booth!" Jessie reminded her with an amused smile.

"I think it means the school's green house!" Kelly told them. "Come on!" All the girls nodded and ran after her.

Back at his locker Screech tried a new combination, "One, fourteen, ninety-two—Columbus sailed the ocean blue," he sang.

"Stand back, Screech," Slater yelled. "I've got the master combination!" he hit the locker with his elbow causing it to fly open causing Screech's possessions to spill on the floor. "Works every time!" he announced proudly flashing a dimpled smile.

Zack immediately dug throw the pile of junk food, magic tricks, and prank toys to grab the puzzle piece. "Alright, alright!" Zack walked toward the board as he read the clue, "Beware sons of Bayside, keep this quiet from the daughters because clue number two could find you in very deep waters!" The boys scratched their heads in thought as Zack placed the piece on the board.

"Waters… deep waters…" Slater thought, "Waters! It's a pool! It's gotta be the pool," he yelled excitedly smacking Zack's arm. "Let's go!" All the boys ran after him.

Forty-five minutes later both teams stood studying their board which now held all six puzzle pieces.

Slater, Zack, Screech, and Ox huddled around the boy's board which revealed a light switch, an ore, a roast chicken, a man wearing a crown, the letter "A", and a bucket with a shovel.

"A light switch," Zack said looking at the first picture. "Off? On? On!" He pointed to the next picture, "On. Oar. Honor!" he exclaimed.

"Ok! Ok!" Slater caught on, "Let me see. Honor," he looked at the next picture of a roast chicken. "Honor the chicken? Honor. Honor chicken's leg? Honor thigh… honor thy!"

"Honor thy!" Zack agreed excitedly.

"Honor they neighbor's bucket of chicken!" Screech cheered thinking he had solved the puzzle. Zack smacked him on the back of the head. Screech turned to face the empty hall behind him, "Stop that!" he commanded.

"Screech, come on, the girls are going to catch up!" Zack ordered as he pointed to the girl's team.

Kelly, Jessie, Lisa, and Louise were carefully studying their clues on the board which revealed a bee, the letter "T", an owl with a speech balloon, Roman numeral 2, a sheep with the letter "R" and a building.

"Uh, bug! Buzz!" Lisa pointed at the first picture.

"Bee!" Jessie yelled. "Bee. T. Bee. T. Owl?" she repeated confused.

"What is that ugly bird trying to say?" Lisa asked with her hands on her hips.

"Hoo!" Kelly told her. "Owls say 'hoo'!" she said excitedly. "Ok, Be. T. Hoo… be true!" she pointed at the next picture of the Roman numerals.

"Be true to…" Jessie continued.

"I know it! I know it!" Louise exclaimed. "Be true to your Little House on the Prairie! I love that show!" she giggled.

"Louise. No," Lisa told her flatly. Kelly shook her head behind her.

"Let's hurry!" Jessie warned. "I think the guys almost have it figured out!" Jessie warned.

Zack read the clues they had figured out so far, "Honor thy prince. A. Pail," he read the last two pieces. "Prince a pail," he repeated.

"Mr. Belding! Does this say, 'Honor thy principal'?" he asked.

"Correct!" Mr. Belding announced.

"Oh yeah!" the boys cheered. Slater and Zack gave each other a high-five, then, Zack turned to give a low five to Screech.

"On. Ore. Thigh. Prince. A. Pail," Mr. Belding read off the pieces explaining it to the other students. "Honor thy principal! The boys win round one!"

The boys cheered and jeered holding up number ones and smacking each other on the back. The girls folded their arms glaring at them with revenge in their eyes.

"We were so close," Lisa frowned.

"Don't worry girls! We may've lost this round, but we'll get 'em next round," Kelly encouraged pumping her fist. "Now wipe off those frowns! I wanna see a winner's spirit!" she ordered.

"Kelly's right!" Jessie agreed. "This is still anyone's game."

"Oh girls!" Slater called from across the hallway. "You might as well give up now! You and your little powder puff team don't stand a chance," he jeered.

"That's what you think! Anything you can do, we can do just as well," Kelly countered going nose to nose with the curly-headed leader.

"We can do it better!" Lisa corrected her stepping up to her side.

"Oh, yeah? That's not what we just saw in round one. I think we all know who the better team is," Zack taunted stepping up face to face with her, "Throw in the towel now, and we might give a few towels to your sports teams," he chuckled.

The four stared at each other intensely unwilling to break eye contact first.

Screech strutted over to Jessie, "You know, babe. For you, I might have them through in a fifty dollar donation to the sport of your choice!" he flung his arm around her.

"Get away from me strange little man," Jessie scrunched her nose and removed his arm from her.

"You girls don't stand a chance!" Ox snickered.

"Go plow a field, Ox!" Louise yelled at him.

"We'll see about that! Let's go girls!" Kelly called. The rest of her troops fell in line behind her.

As the girls stalked away, Zack rubbed his hands together. "The money is so close I can taste it!"

"Don't be so sure, Preppy. The girls are out for our blood now!" Slater shivered.

"Have no fear! The next round is auto shop. We have Bayside's best mechanic! We can't lose!" Zack rallied.

The guys smacked hands and headed to the shop.


	5. Scene 5

Mr. Belding stood patiently at the center of a shop bench. The girls stood at the end of the table. The boy's team side was empty.

"Maybe they won't show up and forfeit this round!" Jessie told them.

"We bad, we bad, we, we, we bad!" they sang happily as they clapped.

"They should have to forfeit for that song," Lisa said rolling her eyes.

"Excuse us, ladies, the victory train is pulling into the station," Slater gloated. "One more win, and this ride is over!" he snapped. "Choo choo!" he smiled from ear to ear as the guys behind him imitated the train whistle. Zack pointed over at the girl's team confidently.

"Oh yeah? Well, your train's about to jump its tracks! Right, girls?" Kelly countered. All of the girls cheered behind her. Lisa and Kelly gave each other a high-five.

"Yeah, right," the boys muttered amused at the girls enthusiasm.

"Alright, alright!" Mr. Belding quieted the room holding out a hand to both sides. "Settle down, people. Now under each sheet is a disassembled car part."

Zack began to look under the sheet.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Mr. Belding chided. "The first team to assemble theirs- in working order—wins! Teams, man the tables!" he pointed for each team to take their place.

"Ok," Zack coached Slater as he squeezed his shoulders, "Your name is all over this, buddy!" He motioned over to the girls table, "Those girls couldn't even pump their own gas!" he mocked causing the boys to chuckle.

"Alright, Kelly," Lisa cheered rubbing Kelly's shoulders like a boxing manager. "You can do it! In fact, you've got to do it 'cause I'm not touching whatever's under that sheet!" she muttered a little disgusted.

"Kelly? You're your teams 'master mechanic'?" Slater asked amused. "Heh, heh, heh!" he chuckled.

"Watch it, Brillo head!" Jessie scolded him.

"Ready teams?" Mr. Belding asked.

"Ready," Slater and Kelly announced.

Mr. Belding blew the whistle and pulled up the sheet revealing two piles of car parts.

"Ew. Gross. It's all greasy!" Lisa responded in disgust.

"Aw, shucks! A disassembled carburetor. Whatever will I do?" Slater said sarcastically looking over at Kelly. He smiled smugly, then, he held out his hand for a screwdriver as Ox passed it down the line.

Kelly didn't even notice. She was putting pieces together quickly without any words. Jessie leaned down and whispered, "Kelly, you look like you really know what you're doing! We might actually have a shot at this!" She rubbed her hands together and bit her lip half grinning in the boys' direction.

A while later, Slater turned a screwdriver with grease covered hands grinning from ear to ear. "Alright, a couple more bolts and this competition is over, boys!" he told them proudly taking his time tightening the bolt. The boys around him cheered and clapped. "Rachet, please!" he ordered holding out his hand. Zack twirled it and laid it into Slater's palm.

"Done!" Kelly called out after she tightened her last bolt. The girls gasped and clapped.

"Done?!" Slater asked in shock.

"Done?!" Zack repeated with a dropped jaw.

"Done?!" Screech squeaked.

Slater turned his head to see the Mr. Sonski checking out the assembled car part. Mr. Sonski picked it up, looked it over, sat it down, and nodded his approval. "Wow," he said shocked. "First we have women wrestlers, now we've got women mechanics! A.C. you'd better step up your game or you'll end up following Kapowski here on the cheerleading squad!" he chuckled.

"Perfect reassembly! The girls win! The competition is tied at one win a piece!" Mr. Belding yelled over the cheering girls.

Lisa led as Jessie, Louise, and Kelly fell behind. "We bad, we bad! We, we, we bad! Choo choo!" the girls sang mocking the boys. The guys watched them in shock.

"Kelly!" Slater called out. "How'd you learn how to assemble car parts?"

Kelly looked at him and shrugged, "I have three older brothers! They taught me how to fix cars in case any boys I dated tried to pull the broken down car stunt!" She exited along with the other cheering students.

"That's right, I should've known that. I tried it once!" Zack shook his head.

After the room emptied, Slater dropped his head and planted his hands firmly on the work bench, "Do you realize what this means?"

"Yeah!" Screech replied, "You're going to be the laughing-stock of the school for years to come!"

"No, you dork!" Slater chided. "We could lose the money!"

"Relax, Slater," Zack replied calmly fiddling with a screw driver, "My sources inform me that the next event is a bake-off."

"A bake-off! We're dead!" Slater admitted defeat.

"Not yet!" Zack dusted off his hands. "I've got an idea!" he raised his eyebrows slyly. Then, he began whispering his plan to Screech, Slater, and Ox.


	6. Scene 6

"Everything you'll need to make a pineapple upside down cake is on your respected tables! So, pick your chef and let's see what's cooking! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Mr. Belding laughed at his own joke as he stood between the boys' and girls' counters.

Lisa stood in the center of her counter and placed a white chef's hat on her head. "You've got this, Lisa!" Kelly cheered her on.

Zack watched them smirking, as he placed an identical hat on his head. "Hey, Lisa," he called, "I thought you said you couldn't cook!" he teased her.

"No," she replied thoughtfully. "I never said I couldn't. I just said I wouldn't!" she corrected with a smile.

Zack smiled back, placing his tongue in his cheek as Lisa continued to smile out him.

Mr. Belding blew the whistle, and the teams began the race to bake their cakes.

Jessie poured flour into a measuring cup, Kelly measured out some milk, and Louise sprayed the pan with non-stick spray.

On the boys' side, Slater poured some oil in a measuring cup and Zack cracked an egg on Ox's head.

"Glad I could help!" Ox chuckled cheerfully.

Arms, flour, oil, and egg shells were flying everywhere as each team tried to prepare their cake the fastest.

The girls put their cake batter into the oven first and set the timer. They cheered and gave each other high fives as they waited for their cake to bake. The boys followed close behind, but worried that they were a little behind.

Ding. Lisa's timer rang for her to get her cake out of the oven. She beamed as she placed her oven mitts on her hands. "You all knew I had expensive taste, but I bet you never thought my cakes were worth $10,000!" she grinned.

Slater and Ox shifted nervously as they watched the girls prepare to take their cake out of the oven. Zack, however, smiled smugly as he slowly put his oven mitts on his hands.

"Hey, uh, Zack. What's going on, man? The girls are gonna win!" Slater fretted.

Zack shook his head. "Don't worry! Screech and I replaced their oven knob with a phony. They're about to get burned!" he grinned. A slow grin of realization came over Slater's face. Ox started to laugh, but Zack shushed him.

The girls team giggled as they gathered around the oven. "So that's what victory smells like," Jessie sniffed.

"It smells like money burning!" Louise smiled as she sniffed.

Lisa opened the oven door causing smoke to pour out. "That's not money burning! That's my cake burning!" Lisa exclaimed. The girls began coughing and waving the smoke away. Lisa reached in and pulled out a black, dense, lump of cake.

"See!" Zack grinned as the boys around him laughed.

Ding! His timer rang.

"Oh!" he smiled as he and his teammates went over to the oven. Zack pulled out a delicious looking pineapple upside down cake. Ox and Slater awed at its beauty.

Mr. Belding walked over to Zack's cake and cut a slice. He took a bite, "Mmm," he nodded his approval. The guys cheered.

Then, Belding made his way over to the girls' cake giving them a look of sympathy. He picked up a knife to cut a slice, but the knife got stuck in the cake. When he tried to pull it out, the knife handle broke off. The girls frowned, while the guys laughed hysterically.

"Well, uh, judging by moistness and color, I would have to say that the boys' team wins! They get the $10,000!" he revealed.

"Yeah!" the boys cheered. "We bad! We know it! We bad! We show it!" they sang. Ox lifted up the cake taunting the girls with it.

The girls crossed their arms and shook their heads disappointed and confused.

At the Max, the girls sat in the booth staring at the giant black coal like cake in the center of the table. Jessie poked it with her finger.

"I still don't know what went wrong!" Jessie threw her hands up in confusion.

"Oh, Lisa, burned it!" Louise informed her.

"She doesn't mean that, Louise. She means, I followed that recipe to a tee!" Lisa told them annoyed. "Sorry, guys," she folded her arms and rested them on the table.

"It's ok, Lisa," Kelly told her patting her on the back.

Screech entered the Max whistling and tossing a knob in the air as he approached them. "So, how are the baking babes doing?"

"Let me at 'em!" Lisa yelled jumping out of her seat to fight Screech. Screech dropped the knob on the table in the panic.

"Lisa, Lisa, calm down," Jessie stopped her from ripping Screech's head off.

Jessie reached over and picked up the knob examining it. "Screech, is this an oven knob?" she asked confused.

"Yeah, but not just any oven knob, babe!" he informed her propping himself up proudly on the booth and placing the other hand on his hip. "Your oven knob!" he pointed at Jessie.

"So, why do you have it?" Kelly asked.

Screech sighed impatiently. "Because if I left it on the oven everything would burn, like that cake," he rolled his eyes at the silliness of her question. Then, a look of realization came over his face after he spilled the secret plan. "Oops! Gotta jet! Bye!" he grabbed the knob from Jessie's hand and ran out the door of the Max.

"Burn?" Lisa laughed and shrugged her shoulders as she looked at the rest of the girls. Then, she looked down at her cake. Her face full of rage, "Screech!" she yelled and jumped up ready to chase him down.

Again, Jessie stopped her and sat her back down in her seat.

"So that's what happened!" Kelly exclaimed.

Louise looked at her confused.

"They switched the knobs," Kelly filled her in waving a hand to explain.

"Oh!" Louise nodded getting it now.

"Those slimeballs!" Jessie shook her head.

"We've gotta tell Mr. Belding!" Kelly told them.

"No," Jessie told her holding up a finger, "I think revenge is sweeter. Here's what we're going to do!" she motioned for them all to lean in closer and revealed her plan.


	7. Scene 7

Zack and Slater strutted out of Belding's office grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey, Zack, how did the meeting with Belding go?" Screech asked.

"Great! We devised a budget so that every guy's sport would get some of the ten thousand dollars!"

"Great!" Screech squeaked. Ox nodded happily.

"Well, how much is miniature golf getting?" Screech asked anxiously.

Zack looked over at Slater to announce the news to his friend. "Five big ones!" Slater told him proudly giving him a wink.

Screech's jaw dropped and Ox gave him a pat on the back. "Five thousand dollars?" Screech asked unable to believe what he was hearing. He put his hand on Zack's shoulder.

"No!" Zack replied wrinkling his brow, "Five big _ones_. Five bucks." He nodded and smiled.

Screech frowned.

Louise walked by the guys to her locker distracting Ox. "Excuse me, boys! My date just walked in," he strutted over to Louise.

"Hey, Louise!" Ox greeted smoothly. "How 'bout we catch a movie at the Cineplex tonight?" he asked as charmingly as he could muster.

"I say, no way!" she replied harshly.

Ox walked back over to the guys with his head down.

"So, hot date tonight, Ox?" Zack asked.

"No," Ox pouted. "She turned me down. That's weird. Louise never turns me down." Slater patted him on the back.

Just then, Kelly entered the hall and made her way to the fountain. "Oh, there's Kelly," Slater told them. "We're supposed to go to the dance together Friday!" he grinned.

He approached her flashing his dimpled grin. "Hey, Kelly! Are we still on for Friday's dance?"

"Nope," she spun on her heel and left. Slater shook his head in disbelief and wrinkled his brow trying to figure out what just happened.

"So, how'd it go?" Zack asked.

"She said our date was off," Slater told him confused. "Kelly's too nice to just drop a date with no explanation. Something weird is going on here!"

"It sure is," Screech agreed. "I've only been slapped three times today! That's way below my average!" Screech confided.

"Wow!" the guys replied shocked.

"What do you think this means?" Ox asked worried.

"It means you guys have had a little bad luck with the ladies and you're over reacting," he told them. Ox and Screech shrugged.

Then, he lifted his gaze passed Ox to see Lisa and Jessie coming down the stairs. "Watch!" he told them coolly. "I'll show you guys it's all in your heads."

"Hey, Lisa!" he called as he strode up to the two girls. "I was thinking about the dance on Friday night. What time should I pick you up?" he asked charmingly.

"Oh," Lisa said thoughtfully clicking her nails, "How about a quarter 'til never?" she replied sweetly.

Zack's smile faded.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, _cheater_," she told him flatly.

Zack looked over at the other guys confused. Slater pulled Screech over with him and Ox followed.

"Wha—what do you mean?" Zack asked.

"We're talking about how you guys cheated to win the cooking competition! We saw Screech with that fake oven knob!" Jessie explained.

"Screech," Zack muttered as he moved over to his pal.

"Don't worry, Zack," he whispered, "They can't prove a thing. I've eaten the evidence! Burp!" Slater nudged him in the stomach and made a disgusted face. Both Lisa and Jessie made the same disgusted face.

"Ladies, please. There must be a little misunderstanding because of this alleged knob," he laughed and shrugged.

"Don't give me that alleged knob talk, Zack!" Lisa told him shaking her head. "Your only way out of this one is by telling Belding the truth," she waved her finger at him.

"And lose all the money?" Slater asked. "No way," he dismissed the idea and waved his hand at them. Zack chuckled and Screech frowned.

"Fine," Jessie told them. "But until you confess, no girl in this school will date any guy!"

"That should make for some interesting matches at the dance, huh, boys?" Lisa smirked.

Zack mocked them as they walked away.

"Big deal," Slater nodded in their direction, "Who needs 'em?"

Screech and Zack nodded in agreement.


	8. Scene 8

"This is Jessica Spano with KKTY live at the Frederick Fields memorial dance. Although the games ended, the Battle of the Sexes is still being fought here at the gymnasium. There are balloons, there's food, there's music, but there's no dancing. Why? Because all men are pigs!"

Zack, Slater, Screech, Ox and Big Pete huddled in the front of the boys's side of the gym. Slater grabbed Zack's shoulder and squeezed, "Did you see what Jessie is wearing?" he asked through gritted teeth. Zack nodded. "Gosh, she looks good!" he pulled Zack's shirt out of place.

Zack smacked his hand, "Get ahold of yourself, Slater!"

"Zack, they're not playing fair!" Screech told him.

"My body is rebelling!" Big Pete announced as he gazed over at the girls.

"He's still weak from Ovaltine poisoning!" Ox informed them as he and Screech held him back

"Hey, come on, guys!" he pointed over at the girls, "This is a test of wills! Those girls want to be with us just as much as we want to be with them!"

"Yeah, they do," Slater agreed snapping himself out of his trance and backing up his friend.

About that time, Kelly, in her form-fitting tank dress, passed by the boys to join the rest of the girls. Zack, Slater, Screech, Ox, and Pete's jaws dropped when they saw her. She passed glanced at them, then, tossed her hair in disapproval.

"No, Zack," Slater told him somberly, "I think I wanna be with them more." Zack put his fist in his mouth, then let out a sigh of defeat and covered his eyes with his hand while the rest of the boys drooled.

Mr. Belding walked in and looked around with confusion. He glanced at the boys, then, at the girls. "Ok! Guys here! Girls there! What's going on?" he asked Zack, Slater, and Screech.

"Mr. Belding," Screech walked over to the principal as he began to confess, "The girls want talk to us because we chea—" Zack quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

Mr. Belding looked puzzled.

"Because we're cheap," Zack imitated Screech's signature squeak. Then, he laughed.

"Cheap?" Mr. Belding asked.

"Cheap, very cheap," Zack told him nodding.

"Well," Mr. Belding chuckled, "You have to learn, boys. Nobody likes a tight wad!"

"Thanks, sir," Slater grinned as Zack and the other boys kept laughing.

Belding shook his head and walked away. Zack and Slater scolded Screech for almost confessing.

While Screech distracted Zack and Slater, Louise walked over to the punch bowl.

"Ox," Zack called out as he chased after the big guy struggling to bring him back to the group. "Just a few more minutes!" He put his arm around Ox. "I'm telling you! These girls are about to topple!" he assured him.

"I know," he nodded. "I just wanna be there to soften their fall!" he nodded grinning. Zack shook his head and pushed him all the way back to the group.

Louise got a cup of punch and strutted past Ox, "Hmmph!" she made a noise as she tossed her hair and exited the gym.

As Louise exited, Lisa entered. Kelly and Jessie walked over to meet her at the snack table.

"Oooh!" Slater grunted trying fighting through the guys to try to reach the table.

Zack caught him by the arm. He waved a finger, "Wait! Wait just a minute! Maybe I should go over there and try to open the lines of communication first."

Slater nodded, grimaced, and stepped back to the group.

Zack stepped away and walked over to the girls flashing his most charming smile. He stepped right in between Lisa and Kelly. "Lisa! Kelly! Jessie! We've gotta talk!"

"Why? Can't you and Slater figure out who's supposed to lead during the slow dances?" Jessie retorted with a smile.

"Haha! That's a good one!" he pointed at her. "You're very funny!" Then, he changed his face to a serious expression. "Look you three are wrecking one of the last dances. You know, we'll never have these carefree high school days again," he said sweetly putting his arm around Lisa and Kelly.

Lisa and Kelly both elbowed him to get his arm off them.

"Hey, don't blame us!" Lisa retorted. "You guys started it!"

"Yeah, just tell Mr. Belding the truth and this whole thing's over with," Jessie told him coyly.

"Oh, no, no, no," Zack shook his head. "If I do that, guy's sports won't get a dime, and a lot of large scary athletes will be looking for me!" he shuddered at the thought.

"That's too bad," Lisa said tenderly as she straightened his tie. "I was hoping to have a good time at this dance." Zack's jaw dropped. "Tata for now!" Lisa flirted as she let go of his tie. "Tata," Kelly and Jessie patted him lightly on the shoulders and slid their hands down his arms as they left.

Zack gasped and crooned his neck back and forth. He straightened his tie and shirt to try to gain composure. "Ok," he drew in a deep breath.

"Guys," he announced with pep, "Plan A did not do so well. It's on to Plan B!" he told them pumping his fist.

"What's Plan B?" Screech wondered.

"Unconditional surrender," he said letting all of his breath out of his body.

"At this time I'd like Zack Morris to come up here for the Inheritance Check Presentation!" Mr. Belding smiled as he bounced the check back and forth.

Slater gave Zack a pat on the back as he went up to the stage.

"Uh, Mr. Belding, before you present the check, there's something I'd like to say," he said softly as he glanced at the other guys.

"Go right ahead, son! The microphone is yours!" Mr. Belding told him grinning and motioning to the mike.

"Actually, I really don't wanna say it in," Zack motioned to the microphone.

"Oh, come on, Zack!" Mr. Belding asked putting his arm around him. "Since when have you been shy? Speak! The whole school's listening!" Belding motioned at the students.

"Yeah, Zack! We're listening!" Jessie motioned to her KKTY microphone.

"Right," Zack stammered. "Uh, fellow students," he looked over at Mr. Belding who was bouncing the check again and grinning. "Mr. Belding," he gritted his teeth and grabbed Mr. Belding's arm to stop him from bouncing the check, "As representative of the boy's team, I regretfully state that we cannot accept the inheritance check."

"What? Why not?" Mr. Belding asked. The rest of the students gasped in shock.

"Well, you see," Zack admitted shuffling his feet, "We rigged Lisa's oven before the cooking event so we'd win. The boy's team cheated," he admitted shyly.

"Sir, we're really sorry!" Slater apologized walking up to the stage. "The girls deserve the money."

"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do," Mr. Belding turned to the girls, "Kelly, will you come up and collect the check for the inheritance presentation?" he smiled and bounced the check.

"We can't accept that check Mr. Belding," Kelly replied, "because we don't really know who would have won the bake off!"

"Yeah, the girls want one more event! Winner takes all!" Lisa told him. The girls behind them cheered.

"It's been one crazy week!" Mr. Belding sighed, then, shrugged. "Well, Kelly, since you are the captain of the girl's team, you pick the event!"

"Ok," she looked at them. They whispered in the huddle. "We're going to- limbo!" she cheered. Lisa, Jessie, and the other girls cheered behind her.

"What?" the guys looked puzzled.

Zack and Slater joined Kelly and Lisa while Ox and Pete put the limbo stick in place. Jessie ran up to her station on the stage.

"You heard it correctly Bayside! After a scandalous announcement by the boys, the girl's team has decided to see who the winners are fair and square. The battle of the sexes is on! This time the competition is the LIMBO!" Jessie announced shaking her head with a little disbelief. "We have Kelly Kapowski and Lisa Turtle for the Girl's Team! A.C. Slater and Zack Morris for the Boy's Team!"

"Ahem," Screech cleared his throat next to her.

"Oh, and Screech providing the song," she rolled her eyes.

"Let's do it!" Kelly smiled at Lisa and gave her five.

"Alright, we can do this!" Zack told them. Slater nodded.

"May the best team win," Slater said extending his hand to Kelly. She shook it with a smile.

The music began to play. Slater went through first swaying to the music as he went under the pole. Lisa followed, then, Zack, and then, Kelly.

The students cheered. "All four made it through round one!" Jessie announced. "Ok, Ox and Pete are lowering the pole," she was silently watching. "All four made it through again!" she cheered. "This is tough competition!"

Ox and Pete lowered the pole a third time. This time Screech began to sing, "Zack be nimble, Lisa be quick, just get under that limbo stick!"

Slater went through still swaying to the music and cleared it with a little trouble. Lisa followed, this time falling down.

"Aw! Lisa Turtle is out on round three! It's all up to Kelly for the girl's team!" Jessie informed.

"Don't hit your head, don't hit your buns! Just get down and have some fun!" Screech continued to sing.

Thye lowered the pole even more. This time Slater fell to the ground while trying to bend. "Only Zack and Kelly are left!"

"Bend those knees now, arch that back! Last one standing has the knack!" Screech sang again.

The pole was about three feet high. Zack was first. He looked over at Kelly who looked nervous.

"He's arching, arching—oh, he fell!" Jessie gave the play by play. "Can Kelly make it? It's awfully low!"

Kelly began to arch and bend started under the pole, then, hesitated. She stepped back and gave it one more try.

"She made it! She made it!" Jessie cheered. "The girl's get the inheritance check fair and square!"

Lisa ran over and gave her a hug. All the girls ran to her and cheered. Then, they began chanting, "We bad! We knew it! You cheated! You blew it!" They taunted one last time as Mr. Belding handed Kelly the check.

"Alright, alright!" Zack admitted defeat. "You girls are the better team." He and Slater walked over to Lisa and Kelly.

"How about a victory dance?" the guys offered as a truce.

Lisa and Kelly looked at each other and smiled. "Why not?" Lisa agreed.

Lisa took Zack's hand and Kelly took Slater's and they walked out to the dance floor.

Screech walked over to Jessie straightening his collar. "How about a dance, Mama!" he asked her.

"Why not? This week has been a week out of the Twilight Zone anyway," she shrugged. Screech looked surprised as she led him out on the dance floor.

"Now this looks more like it!" Mr. Belding commentated. Then, he saw Screech and Jessie dancing. "Well, almost!" he shook his head.


End file.
